forget the title.

Are You Serious?!?! www.rickisnotserious... Forget all that for this one. I have very seriously been contemplating a big part of my life for the past little bit. My diet.

I remember when I was eleven or so I saw The Simpsons episode where Lisa goes vegetarian. It struck me right then, I needed to do that. I told my mom that's what I wanted to do. She was fine with it, fixed me meals without meat. Then it was time to go with my dad, he would take me Tuesday, Thursdays, and every other weekend. He was having none of it, had me continue to eat meat like there was no choice.

I started working at Guitar Center in September 2004. Went vegetarian at the beginning of October that year. On my twentieth birthday it had been one month, I hadn't told anyone 'til then. Since I was old enough to fend for myself there was no stopping me.

In April 2006 I had a six month stint with being a Vegan (dietary only, I wear the fuck out of some suede shoes, and leather belts.) That was good to experience I think, cause now I know how much I fucking love Cheese and everything having to do with cheese. Also, I can talk shit on it a whole lot better. Milk isn't rape you fucking idiots. Cows get relief from it, it needs to happen. There was a scientific experiment done (i don't know where, or by who, nor am I going to look it up, I heard it on NPR like 4 years ago.) The experiment was setting up a mechanical device that cows could walk up to, stand above, and get milked. Without a dog herding them, or people wrangling them up. The cows went willingly to this machine every couple of days to get relieved. I digress. I still don't drink milk, I just don't like it. I'm all about soy milk, and will always be. But you know cheese, butter, eggs, got damn I love 'em.

So whatev, back to vegetarian. Still today. I'm all about it, I love not eating animals. Thats why I do it, for the animals. I love all animals so much. I feel I have a very good connection with them, and their feelings.

But...

... When I went vegetarian back in 2004, I didn't even like most meat meals. Porkchops hated, steaks of any kind were horrible to me. Don't even get me started on roast beef...

... I now feel like my taste buds, and eating habits have matured so much since then. Not only to normal things such as onions (can't live without,) and fancy cheeses. Now I have a broadened horizon on different ways to cook, prep, and accompany foods. Cooking myself, and enjoying it so much makes me wonder if I'm doing my self a dis-service for "quiting" before I ever got "started."

The two television channels I watch the most are HGTV, and the Food Network. (we can leave espn out, I don't want to count the eight plus hours its on continuously during the night. I like to fall asleep to it, plus I'm weird and have to sleep with the t.v. on. Fuck you power bill.) On the food network I like watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. It makes me want to try all the specialty foods, if a place is known for it, get it. If it looks good, get it. Its not going to be your moms dried out pork chop, its gonna be some families eighty year old receipt for tender, fall of the bone pork. There is a certain cool-ness (for lack of a better set of words) to it.

So yeah, I'm still debating with myself if I want to do this. This? Go back to eating meat. Lets break it down like this. I love it, I like not supporting the killing of animals. Some of it is gross, even to people who love meat. But damn.

Let me also say, I used to be nearly 140 pounds of pure un-adulterated MAN, I'm now 120 lbs... of pure un-adulterated MAN. I know for a got damn fact that its not solely because I'm vegetarian, or even the least bit the reason. It because I'm not in the financial situation to support the cost of food, to nutritional value ratio that vegetarian food provides. Yeah its fortified the fuck out of stuff, but that now makes that one item $8 compared to this meal that had everything home made for a few dollars cheaper. If I had grips and grips of money would I stay vegetarian? I don't know.

I guess July August is Tuna season down south in the San Diego/Mexico region. My good friend John has a boat and lives down there. If I were to go out on his boat with him and he caught a tuna, he would cut it open cut the meat away, rinse it, eat it. I think I would have to join. Its raw (harhar, fuck you I'm talkin' like down and dirty, not the un-cooked-ness of it.) the most gangster thing you could do, never have I or would I be able to have sushi, or Sashimi.

So yeah, that's what I'm going through right now. Still not sure, maybe I won't.

I'll tell you this much, if I do, I'm not going to be stupid as shit about it. No taco bell/in-n-out fuck ass meat. No Sushi that's not somewhere within 10 miles to the ocean. No dumb shit. Nothing from a chain restaurant. Just specialty stuff, or home made.

I'm going to bed.